In September I went to Turkey for an experience that changed my life: gastric sleeve surgery.
While others shared their journey in detail on their social media platforms, my Facebook friends only saw beautiful scenery and thoughtful reflections. Oh, and a subtle hint as we headed back to New Zealand: "I feel like I'm leaving a part of myself here."
Finally now, it's time to share the story.
A lifelong struggle with weight
I've struggled with my weight for a long time, always hovering around the "technically obese" categorisation.
I staved off morbid obesity with exercise, especially walking, which I adore. But in early 2023, even as I increased my walking activity, I ballooned in weight, going from 115 to 120 and then 125kg.
At the same time, I developed plantar fasciitis - debilitating pain in my feet. This took away my favourite and easiest-to-access form of exercise. My weight continued to increase. I needed to get a new set of clothes. I could no longer stride in the way I used to; instead I was a shuffling, obese version of myself. I did not feel like "me", but I accepted the persona of the smiling, chubby guy.
An extreme solution?
My wife Marie researched weight loss surgery for months before we decided on Get Slim in Turkey. I was reluctant to make a permanent and irreversible change to my body. But I also did not understand that obesity was already making significant changes to my body.
I'm no doctor, but I am a learner. The book Bariatric Blueprint explains some of the science behind why it's so hard to lose weight:
"It's harder to lose the weight when you’re obese, because there’s more weight to lose to get to a healthy body weight in the first place. As you can imagine, it’s more manageable to lose 10 pounds as it is to lose 100 pounds. On top of that, hunger and satiety cues are often derailed before bariatric surgery. Research shows, that there’s a dysregulation of hunger and satiety hormones making the urge to eat greater and the urge to stop eating, much more challenging."
Once I stopped being able to walk, my battle became that much more difficult. And this was at a time when I was launching a self-help book! I wasn't much of a testimonial for my product.
Could I have done it another way? Sure. But I was in the position to make this radical life change, and take an irreversible step.
Trip of a lifetime
My surgery probably took 30-45 minutes. The journey there took 23 hours. The effects will last a lifetime - if I make good on the opportunity given.
You see, gastric sleeve surgery reduces the capacity of your stomach by 80%. This means you simply can't eat as much as you used to. However, it doesn't guarantee lifelong weight loss. Sadly, some gastric sleeve (or bariatric surgery) patients do end up putting the weight on, because they return to habits of unconscious eating. This means they may be eating smaller portions, but not paying attention to the nutrients in what they eat. Carbohydrate-rich foods (referred to as 'sliders' because they are easy to swallow and digest) can cause people to regain all the weight they lost.
So, bariatric surgery is not a magic solution. Instead, it bought me the opportunity to renegotiate my relationship with my body and with food. For years, I have diligently recorded my food and nutrient intake, even when I was overweight and overeating. It was a good habit to measure, even though it did remind me I was powerless.
Now, I have much more power over how much I eat; it has become an exciting game for me to control the makeup of what I eat. I use the app LoseIt to track both my inputs (food) and outputs (exercise), helping me to feel in control of my journey. It's a day-by-day thing. As we say in chapter 7 of Reboot Yourself, you can manage what you measure.
Finding "My People" in this setting
Chapter 6 of Reboot Yourself talks about your people - the ones who will accompany you on your journey. I'm so glad I was able to experience this with Marie, and I'm also glad for the fellowship of a cohort, people who would be having the same procedure with the same company around the same time.
I had learnt about the power of a cohort the year before, going through first year law and discovering the things you don't realise a cohort does, until you look back. Things like:
Providing a wordless sense of solidarity, just by being in the same spaces (physical or virtual) as you
Surfacing common questions or problems that you thought were unique to you
Giving multiple perspectives on issues
Providing multiple data points on what the "typical" journey is like (for bariatric surgery the refrain was always "everyone is different!" and yet we can't help but compare ourselves to others)
Truth be told, cohorts provide a sense of friendly competition which can be quite motivating when the going is difficult
I've also realised that "your people" doesn't have to be your people for everything. The people who I share information and encouragement with on the bariatric journey are not the same people that I talk about business or genealogy with. And that's increasingly true with our digital, virtual world. We can find incredible solidarity with a group of people half a world away, even when we feel there is nobody nearby who can relate.
What it's like, 20kg later
I have not reached my goal, but I am nearly halfway there.
In July 2023, I had one of many "before" photos of me at 130kg. Not the me I wanted to be, but the me I turned out to be.
Fast-forward two months, and I am down 20kg. I have rediscovered the joy of tucking my shirt in.
In fact, I rediscovered a great many shirts, t-shirts and trousers that were just taking up space in my wardrobe before. It is truly like getting these items for the first time - again!
As mentioned, I am roughly halfway to my weight goal. But more important to me than the numbers on the scales are these KPIs:
How I feel in my clothes
How consistent I am with my habits (without being self-judgemental when I fail)
Unseen factors like my HbA1C (a measure of how likely I am to become diabetic) which has improved since the surgery
In chapter 7 of Reboot Yourself I encourage you to equip yourself with tools and knowledge for your journey. This surgery gave me the opportunity to learn so much about my body, something I have been very neglectful about until now.
When I received the surgeon's report, I went to my best buddy, ChatGPT, and asked it to explain in plain language everything that was being said. This was an absolutely amazing experience.
A hint about this: if you're using the free version of ChatGPT, everything you type in can potentially be used by ChatGPT to train its large language model. In other words, it's not private, so be circumspect in any data you put in. With a paid subscription, you can set the privacy settings so your information is truly private.
The lifelong journey
Knowing yourself is a lifelong journey. Don't let the world make you feel guilty or self-indulgent for taking the time to get to understand yourself. After all, you're stuck with you for life. Might as well get good at operating yourself!
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